Modesty. A trait that has a pretty large spectrum. Each individual has a level of modesty they are comfortable with, as does every culture. That comfort level changes throughout our lives. Think back to when you were really young or when your kids were really young. I remember constantly finding Sam out in the sandbox, buck naked, having the time of his life when he was 3 years old. Some people hang on to that feeling of freedom and comfort in their own skin. I was not one of those people. However, aging and certain experiences (i.e. childbirth) have contributed to me becoming less modest. But nothing has moved my "modesty dial" more than living in Europe.
I got my first taste of European freedom on our vacation in Munich 4 years ago. It was July and one of the hottest weeks of the summer. Our hotel had no air conditioning, which is pretty common, so we decided to try and cool off at the English Garten's Biergarten. Since it was Sunday and no one else had air conditioning, the place was packed! As we biked through the Garten, we passed the nudist section. I almost fell off my bike. Never had I been so close to so many naked adults. I was unnerved and envious at the same time. But the fun didn't stop there. In another part of the Garden, there is a cold, quick moving stream. That day, hundreds of people were floating down and then walking back up to do it again. Although everyone was "covered", only half of them were wearing bathing suits. There was one young woman walking back upstream wearing only her underwear and holding her boobs in her hands. Everyone around her was completely unfazed. Right behind her were a group of woman my age in their bra and underwear heading back up for another float. It was the coolest atmosphere I had ever experienced because no one cared. I figured, "When in Rome...", so we stripped down to our skivvies and jumped in! It helped that I didn't know a soul, or have any fear of being recognized, but that day changed my mindset. It freed a part of me that had been "buttoned up" for so long.
Fast forward to 2018 and our move to Germany. I thought I was prepared for the European level of modesty, but there was so much more to learn. You know how sometimes the universe holds up a mirror for things you need to work on? Well, I must not have moved my dial as far as I was suppose to because it has been 14 months of "loosen up" messages. I have been exposed (pardon the pun) to more nudity in the last 14 months than 4 lifetimes in the US: topless swimmers at the local lake, open showers at the gym, neighbors that don't close the blinds when they shower or get dressed, the 9 year old brother and 7 year old sister next door who play naked in the backyard on a hot day, the naked guy who just stood shivering on stage to open the Munich Opera and the completely naked beach walkers in Greece. But the biggest shock was my gym's coed sauna.
I love my gym and the "relaxation" room is part of what sold me. It is a large warm room attached to the women's locker room with tea/water next to some super comfy loungers. In the corner sits the very large enclosed sauna with plenty of seating. On my tour, there was a woman on one of the loungers reading a book and no one in the sauna. It was oozing peacefulness. At no point on that tour did my guide mention that the men's locker room was also attached. I now know that in addition to being an important component in a German's health regimen, a sauna is a social gathering spot, like Panera. From that perspective, the fact that it is coed is not unusual until you realize that although they have a towel wrapped around their naked body when they walk in, it is only because they need it to sit on, like a cushion. I knew that one day, I would have to LEAP out of my comfort zone and enter that sauna. And I promised myself that I wouldn't write this blog, until I had.
It took months (8 to be exact) to work up the courage to enter that sauna. During that time, my über critical inner voice had a hay day. Flooding me with fear and doubt by saying things like: "if you go in there, everyone will realize just how much padding is in your sports bra" and "you will scare the others and embarrass America if you are not 'groomed' properly" and "how can you ever have drinks with you neighbor again after they have seen all that?". The anticipation grew and I knew I needed to silence that voice. So I decided that my birthday present to myself would be to grow a pair, throw on my birthday suit and enter the sauna.
So, what have I learned?
1) The gym sauna is very crowded on Sunday afternoon :)
2) I find the European attitude to nudity intriguing and healthy.
3) As much as I wish I could overcome my phobia, it is so very true that "you can take the girl out of the Country, but you can't take the Country out of the girl".
4) I feel complete in my experimentation in close quarter nudity. However, I might convince Tate to give the nudist part of the English Garden in Munich a try since the chance that we will run into anyone we know is almost zero ;)